For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
