i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
