whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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