Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
