Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
