mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
