just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
