I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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