I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
