It's Friday. Sex?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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