His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Are these your boobs on my camera?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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