Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
