First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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