How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
