Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
