Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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