Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
