After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
