we're blogging at a bar
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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