Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
