today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
