You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
