drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
