Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
