dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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