Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
