My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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