i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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