I CAN MOONWALK!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am mentally ready for anal.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
