Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
