thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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