I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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