My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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