Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
