We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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