had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
