i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
