I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
