just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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