i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
do herpes really smell.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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