I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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