At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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