I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
