she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
