They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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