Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize