well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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