Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
