oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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