toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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