Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
