Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
