How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
