I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
