The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
