k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
