this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
