i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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